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Diary of a Quarantine Queen: Nurse Amanda's Response to COVID-19

We are officially two or three weeks into quarantine and let me tell you... I am struggling. As someone who thrives off of having their life planned out week by week, months in advance, I had no idea what I would be in for. Our health, the health of our families and friends, and those around us are most important during this time. Being a healthcare professional, I am no stranger to that. Of course I am doing my part to keep my distance, stay home and away from at risk family and friends to help in any way I can. However, I still am allowing myself to feel sad. 

Like I said, I love having after work plans. Whether it's a workout, happy hour with coworkers, spending time with friends or family, I like to keep busy. I would say prior to quarantine I would eat out about 4 nights a week. I know, not the healthiest but living alone and being single it is nice to have these distractions. Well, quarantine quickly took those away from me and is continuing to put up a fight. At first, I was in denial thinking I’d keep my late March and early April plans. Nope... reality took over. It may sound selfish to be upset about not being able to go out or get my nails or lashes done, but there is no one way to feel during this. There is no "Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul: Single During Quarantine." We are all taking it day by day.

 I was feeling guilty the other day; I got upset that all my lashes fell off, my nails have become a wreck, I physically don't feel like myself, and I am struggling with my appearance. It is not the time to worry about how I look, I thought, no one sees me but patients and the few co- workers and strangers in passing I realized I never did any of this for anyone else, of course you want to “look good” to attract someone and feel good about yourself but I realized I did this for me. I wanted to look good so that I felt good. Just like I wanted to always keep busy because it made me feel good. I quickly had become uncomfortable in my new (but old) skin. Is this really what having no lashes feels like? And no nails? And all my neurotoxins wearing off? Am I going to turn into a pumpkin? I allowed myself to wallow for that day as I continued to scroll through Instagram to see how people are still looking good for the gram. I just didn't get it. I missed my routine, feeling put together and feeling my best self.

I woke up the next morning and realized this is it, this is quarantine. Plans in May and June are getting cancelled. However, I am healthy. Everyone I love is healthy. Things could be so much worse. I soon realized, with advice from my BFF, that tomorrow is not guaranteed and I needed to stop harping on the things I could not and cannot control. I ordered a dipset off amazon, mascara, and started Melissa Wood Health. I slowly started to feel better. 

The Glow Bar is a place that allows me to make all of you feel your best. My favorite part about it is getting a text or DM from a patient that says how happy they are with their BOTOX or Jeuveau, that they never knew it would be that amazing. That the energy they have from a vitamin cocktail is getting them through another long week. Patients have also become friends, which is pretty cool if you ask me. I am trusted to fill faces, correct asymmetry, brighten and clear skin. I miss it so so much. I miss the connections I make, the new skills I am continuing to learn, and allowing others to feel their best while enhancing what they all already have. None of this is superficial to me. In today's world we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. When we are stripped of the little luxuries, sure it may seem like we shouldn't care, that there are much bigger problems, but we are still entitled to feel sad about it. I am here to tell you that I am sad that I don't get to see patients, family, friends, or anyone that brings light into my life.  

What I have done to help pass the time is a lot of research for The Glow Bar. I FaceTime family and friends, watch Netflix, and attempt to bake and cook. It is hard not to feel guilty for not working out when every blogger and person is posting about walking or running or the fourth workout of the day. At first, I would be manic if I didn't get up and move but I have slowly accepted that each day is going to be different. Some days I am going to crush a morning flow and afternoon walk. Other days I am going to watch all 16 episodes of season one of All American. My new “hobbies” consist of Melissa Wood Health (free 7 day trial amazing quick or long workouts for toning, yoga, and meditating), walking while talking to a friend or listening to music, crime junkies podcasts, homemade face masks, and learning to be comfortable with being “home alone." Each day I make a list in the morning of what I want to conquer. As long as I cross off a few things I call it a success. And if I don't cross it off today I think, "Looks like I know what I am be doing the tomorrow!"

 There is no right or wrong way to quarantine. As long as we are taking care of ourselves, listening to our bodies, and relying on the family and friends, we will all be okay. I cannot wait to help everyone with their post quarantine glow up, I will be right there with you! 

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